"Additional Discipline Helps Disorder ".

Children are like any other small new creature, birds, puppies, black bears. We all enjoy watching the nature shows that depict little bear cubs or baby ducks and their inquisitive antics. Always on the move, sticking their noses into unwelcome or dangerous places. And one thing we also see is the mother bear or duck carefully guiding their children away from danger, gently nudging them in another direction or redirecting their attention to something less interesting to them but much safer. Just like their animal counterparts, our children are inquisitive, full of unbridled enthusiasm and energy. Everything in the world is new to them, including rules of behavior and acceptable actions. The mother bear will "motivate" her cub to change his behavior. Sometimes she will use a playful paw...Sometimes a more direct approach with a quick nip on the rear which usually gets the cubs attention. She is setting up rules for behavior and enforcing them.

It seem that some parents have forgotten that this is their role also. Children come into this world with no knowledge of their role in life, no sense of acceptable behavior. It is the parent's job to educate their children and mold them into caring, intelligent and responsible adults. This takes effort, energy and a commitment by parents. It can't be done by day care workers, there are too many kids and too few workers. Their prime objective is to keep them inside the fences and un-bloodied. It can be done in part by teachers, but only in a limited way. Their job is the three "R's" and not behavioral education. The children should have that before they ever enter the school system. It should be done by parents and it should start early.

Children should learn that there are certain times to be quiet and times to run wild. The wild part should be outdoors in a protected environment... back yard or playground, not in the home or classroom. They should be taught to listen to parents and do as they are told. How many times have you seen a child being told three, four or seven times to do or not do something, all the while completely ignoring the parent and doing as they wish while the parent sits idly by and says "I just can't control him". Here is where the mother bear would interject a not so playful paw across the cubs backside to "get his attention" and redirect his energies.

More and more children are being labeled as a "troubled youth" .The number of reports of crime and beatings and school shootings by children is overwhelming. Our young people are committing unthinkable acts with absolutely no remorse, no feelings of responsibility for their actions in the least. And, when the fear of being held accountable becomes all too real they start laying the blame on the parents who always seem to say "He was a troubled youth ..he's never listened to me" . Their trouble is that the parents never took the trouble to discipline them. I certainly don't advocate the spare the rod, spoil the child way of thinking. I was never abused or mistreated by my parents. I was one of those "overactive"children also. But, I was taught what was and was not acceptable and I knew if those boundaries were crossed that a penalty would have to be paid. Sometimes restrictive ...sometimes punitive, but ever present and ALWAYS enforced. Another thing to consider is what this ADHD label does to the child's own self image. He hears his mother say "Oh, he's an ADHD child" and he thinks immediately that something is wrong with him and all his failures can be blamed on his "disorder" I think it is a poor crutch to give a child who most times doesn't need one.

I totally believe two things about children. First they should be loved unconditionally and openly. Secondly they should be disciplined fairly and consistently. Children who know the rules and their consequences will learn to live by them and to view them as a welcome and protective order to their lives.